Courtney Love's Halloween Party

Friday night, to commemorate the arrival of friends Braden and Samantha from the tundra of SUNY Oswego, I threw a party. I decided it would be a really great idea to make it a costume party and require that people come dressed as their favorite drug addict.

So I was Courtney Love. Because that bitch is a MESS and doesn't even TRY to hide it. I wore high heels and a red slip, mussed up my hair and smeared lipstick all over my face.

By request from my friend Brian, I performed my signature number, "The Ladies Who Lunch."

Three hours and twelve drinks later, I did it again. Both of these are shortly going to be available on either facebook or Youtube.

The best costume of the evening however, goes to Stephanie Scerbo. Everyone was raving about how amazing her costume was, I thought she was Violet from Peanuts. She wore a plaid formal dress with a bow in her hair.

Laaaaaaaame.

I was like, "Stephanie, where the fuck is your costume?"

She looks at me and said, "I'm JonBenet Ramsay, you dick."

I died. DIED.

On a weirder note, however, one of my token straight friends had an episode. I had no idea what was going on until it had already happened. I saw a cluster of people huddled around the bathroom and puddles of blood everywhere. My first instinct was that it had been a fight. I saw the back of Matt's head as he bobbled like a slow-moving metronome back and forth. My heart stopped. His girlfriend, my close friend Sarah, who I've known since childhood, was sobbing.

But if you and your loved one were both drunk and one of you was bleeding profusely, you'd probably be sobbing as well.

It turns out it wasn't a big deal, but the most amazing thing is that Brady took complete charge of the situation and handled it with the most efficient and graceful professionalism. I would have been dumbstruck. We had a sober driver take him to the hospital for stitches, and he is fine. He had burst open a wound he'd gotten in tech class.

And that was my Friday night.