Marisa and the Bird

My roommate Marisa is obsessed with our bird, Yoey. He was a hand-me-down from a friend of ours who lived here last semester, and Marisa was more than happy to take him in.

One morning, I staggered down the staircase to hear the sounds of the bird screaming bloody murder and Marisa cupping him in her hands and blowing on him incessantly.

"It's to keep him from biting me," she explained.

She moved over to the couch and let him out to plop around next to her.

"BE SOCIAL!" she yelled at him as he fluttered around. The bird can't fly to save its life, so he tumbled to the floor and perched on a cable wire. A spell later, he begins to waddle across the hardwood floor towards the kitchen. Marisa had decided it was tim for him to go back into his cage, and gets on her hands and knees trying to coax him back into her hands.

This clearly does not work, as the bird hates all human beings.

So she begins to chase him on her hands and knees until finally she gets him and proclaims, "I GOTCHA YOEY, I GOTCHA!" After letting out an "ouch," she begins blowing on him again as she places him back into the cage.

"Fuckin' bird," she says.