Man Night

My sexual preferece can best be described as 'grey area.' I think masculinity is funny. I think feminists are funny.


I'm not too sure where I belong in the grand scheme of things.
HOWEVER, tonight was a night to remember-- we at the State University of New York at New Paltz's Theatre Department call it MAN NIGHT.

Man Night is a watered-down version of a tradition handed down to us by men of honor and distinction who have gradutated in recent years. It is typically held at a house called "No Fro," which has since become inhabited solely by women. So we took it upon ourselves to bring it to another house, which we call "Oakwood." Anyone in the department will know what this is.

So we, of legal age and such, all pitched in for this party. And upon arriving at the house, my sleeves were immediately seized by a knife wielded by a buddy and ripped off. At this, I laughed.

However, the living room had been raided by a group of women from NO FRO and they had taken all of our cheap beer and in its place, put a bottle of champagne with a sign that said PUSSY BITCHES and put pink balloons and banners that say IT'S A GIRL everywhere. I found this amusing, but as I had put in money towards the beer, I was a wee bit prickly..

Oh, did I mention that if we did anything "less than manly," beer was poured all over us? I didn't want to eat the kielbasa until it had cooled off, so beer was poured on me. I laughed.

As the group of us "men" headed over there, in sleeveless shirts (many ripped by knives), we chanted and grunted. I lowered the pitch of my voice as I chewed on toothpicks. God, I felt so manly.

When we got there, the girls were all dressed as "men," sporting menswear and painted on goatees, bandanas. It was a sight to behold. Our goal was to steal their cat...didn't happen, but I got two shitty beers and a shovel from them.

We got back to the house after the raid. Apparent the "stolen" beers were in someone's room the whole time, so what the hell? A joke gone too far, but funny nonetheless. Some women came by later, but we drenched them in kool-aid and such. At this point it was two in the morning, and I staggered onto my bicycle and went home.

But if this is the most I'm getting out of my education, I'm glad I'm having a fucking great time.